30 September 2001

Hai beisst Internet -

[ computerchannel ]: "Zwei Tiefsee-Telefonkabel, die den ostasiatischen Stadtstaat Singapur mit Asien, Amerika und Europa verbinden, sind Ende der Woche von einem Hai zerbissen worden." (September 30., 2001, )

Bildungslückenbüßer - Ich dachte immer, ich sei ein alter Fuchs und kenne mich aus. Ich bekenne: ich kenne nichts! Ich kannte z.B. "Bastard Assistant from Hell" nicht.

Der Bastard Assistant from Hell ist bitterböse Satire. Wer mit Computern, Uni, Akademikern usw. zu tun hat, oder einfach auf guten alten schwarzen Humor steht, wird sie lieben. Florian Schiel hat sie geschrieben, der nacheinander die Technische Universität München, das Institut für Phonetik und Sprachliche Kommunikation München und das International Computer Science Institute (ICSI) in Berkeley entweiht hat. In dieser Sammlung von Kurzgeschichten (ursprünglich als wöchentliche Kolumne im Internet) erzählt der gefallene Engel Herr Leisch von seinem Treiben als teuflischer "Bastard Assistant from Hell", dessen Aufgabe das gleichmäßige Verteilen von Bosheiten in der Uni ist.

Es gibt ordentliches Merchandising: Bücher vom Schwarten-Verlag, eine Tasse, ein Ti-Shirt sowie Leseproben. Da unten ist auch eine.

Merke: bald ist Weihnachten.... (September 29., 2001, majo)

What's in my Desk Drawer - That's what the Web has been invented for

Let's get organized: "I moved and I have a bigger desk in my new apartment. So here is my new improved list of items in my desk:

2747 Staples
* 2525 boxed
* 27 in the green stapler
* 72 in the brown stapler

etc. etc. etc.
Subject to change without notice."

Poor soul. (September 28., 2001, )

Hermann der User - Der "Hermann der Woche" belegt, wie reichhaltig, tiefsinnig und elegant die deutsche Sprache ist. Oder sein kann.

(September 24., 2001, )

A Most Appropriate Way to Print Out a Word Document -

(September 22., 2001, frannie)

Fun and Drama From Your Talking Chips - Tired of laughing about your own jokes?

"Your own full-time team of comedians right on your desktop": a talking jokes application. Har Har.

The Hamlet Readme-o-Matic: a self-running Shakespearean play of 5 hours lenght.

Both require for MacOS, Applescript and English Text to Speech. (September 21., 2001, )

The Silicon Graphics Refrigerator Project - How To Turn a $175.000 High-End SGI Challenge DM Server into a Fridge

[ Matthijs Mourits, via informationsbrocken ]:"If you look up "Server" in SGI's dictionary it probably says:

Server (n.),
1. Large, extremely expensive machine that goes "Ping!". Measuring at least 25 cubic feet, heavy, bulky and giving of more heat then a nuclear power plant. It's big, it's bad, it's beautiful and makes it pretty obvious what happened to this year's IT-budget.

When one of our two Challenge DM servers broke down it was decided to strip the now-deceased monster, Dua it was called, of its vital organs and throw it away. (...) At that moment I had a vision. A vision of a world where server and refrigerator could co-exist."

(September 11., 2001, )

Bush Claims Arithmetic Error in Microsoft Break-Up - After a long meeting with a board of K12 math teachers, he found out that there was a huge arithmetic error in the break-up.

[ Segfault ]: "The DOJ has considered reducing Microsoft to a fraction of its current 1.0000 monopoly count, but it turnsout that Microsoft has a prime number of employees and share holders, "making it impossible to cut part of it without cutting men in half, and we've been told the Constitution won't let us cut people in half (or whatever other fraction), even if the man in question is the IIS Quality Assurance manager."

Bush added: "billions and billions of dollars in research and these lab rats still can't divide prime numbers, are these mathematicians dumb or what? I'll tell you something, lay off these geeks and nerds and let true brave American soldiers do the work when we need it. Give me a squad of Marines and I'll show you some primes being divided on schedule."." [ more... ]
(September 10., 2001, )

Deutsche Spaßkultur - ... ist viel besser als ihr Ruf.

In Deutschland bemühen sich Akademiker und Schriftsteller bereits seit 1984 verdienstvoll um die Würdigung und Förderung des Humors. Der "Kasseler Literaturpreis für grotesken Humor" der Stiftung Brückner-Kühner, einer "nicht rechtsfähigen Stiftung im Sinne des bürgerlichen Rechts", wurde u.a. an Loriot und den unvergleichlichen Hanns Dieter Hüsch verliehen.

Zu den Stiftungsorganen zählt auch Harry Rowohlt. Komisch... (September 9., 2001, )

Windows Cheat Code Discovered -

[ Segfault ]: "The cheat enables 'God mode', which means the player becomes invulnerable to attacks from Windows' monsters. Monsters include the fatal exception, the illegal operation, and of course, the dreaded blue screen of death. Microsoft suggests that gamers should have played through Windows at least once before using the cheats; otherwise you will lose much of the fun of trying to outwit the Windows monsters." [ more... ]
(September 4., 2001, )

Quote of the Day (2) -

[ MySQL Documentation ]: "The derivation of the name MySQL is not perfectly clear. Our base directory and a large number of our libraries and tools have had the prefix "my" for well over 10 years. However, Monty's daughter (some years younger) is also named My. Which of the two gave its name to MySQL is still a mystery, even for us."
(September 3., 2001, )

[ Der Schockwellenreiter ] "Niemals, aber auch niemals auf eine Einschulung gehen, die erst nächste Woche Montag stattfindet." Man kann die Tragikomik des Augenblicks förmlich hören... (September 3., 2001, )

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